Tuesday, December 05, 2006
yunhi hota hai to akhir yun hota kyun hai...i always used to say k i cant accept death, despite the fact k i had never encountered the death of anyone close....but now that i have......its horrible. The man closest to me after my own father....left us [innalillah wa inna ilahi rajiun].....left us wondering wot happened. didnt even give us time to think, to act or do anything. left us just like that, no warning, nothing. never in my wildest imagination would i have thought k he'd go.......go forever, never to come back.
one day u see him all hale and hearty, enjoying his daughter's birthday party, hours later.....he's no more. Someone with such a dominating personality as him......someone with such a nature as him...cant be forgotten that easily. even in my own home, where ever i look i see traces of the one gone. half of my winter wardrobe, my cell, so much of my room decor are all testaments of the man that he was. just last sunday he gave us this huge pendulum wall clock, maybe he knew he'd be gone 4 days later and wanted us to remember him with the tan-tan of the clock every hour!
I have lost the man who solved the biggest crisis of my life, the man who made SOOO many things possible for all of us......God bless him!!!!
people just leave so silently na? at his house the other day, there was so much mayhem and all the time i felt like bas abhi he'll come thru the doors saying 'kahan ho bhui sab log? shor kis baat ka hai? chalo aao sab yahan mere saath betho' and then he'd say 'tooba chalo jaldi se le kar aao!' and i was expected to bring him water as soon as he got seated...thsi was wot happened hamesha. yesterday, dad was like 'beta ub kis k liye kheera (cucumber) kato gi?' and then he burst into tears..... HE used to love cucumber and no dinner was complete without it, and he loved the chai i made......
on my desk rests an old picture, me and his son at the age of two, on either of his shoulders.....
ajeeb si empty empty feeling horahi hai, as if i cant be happy again....atleast for a long time!
*please pray for the departed soul*